The candidates elected to the Board of Management today are as follows:

Ordinary Board A (April ‘08 - February ‘09)
Darren Duffy
Fiona Hendrie
Amy MacKinnon
Laura Murdoch

Ordinary Board B (April ‘08 - November ‘08)
Simon Gwynn
Ruaraidh MacIntyre
Kathie Taylor
Joanna Wilson

Former Student Member (April ‘08 - February ‘09)
Miriam MacDonald

Thanks to all those who voted in this by-election. A full breakdown of the votes is displayed on the Union noticeboard next to reception.

Polls are open today for three constituencies of the Board of Management.
Cast your vote in the QM today between 9am and 6pm. Remember to bring your membership card with you!

The candidates standing in each constituency are as follows:

Ordinary Board A (7 candidates, 4 positions - April ‘08 - February ‘09)
Thomas Burns
Darren Duffy
Fiona Hendrie
Amy MacKinnon
Laura Murdoch
Iain Smith
Rory Woodhouse

Ordinary Board B (4 candidates, 4 positions - April ‘08 - November ‘08)
Simon Gwynn
Ruaraidh MacIntyre
Kathie Taylor
Joanna Wilson

Former Student Member (1 candidate, 1 position - April ‘08 - February ‘09)
Miriam MacDonald

Vote today and guarantee the best Board of Management possible for the year ahead!
You can also come along and watch the count live from 6pm onwards, with public announcement of the winners as soon as all of your votes have been counted.

There will be a meeting on the 25th April at 2:30pm to discuss the future of the QM’s environmental standpoint. All members are welcome to attend. See you there!

QMU Comedy is back on the 24th April with a mind-blowing feast of the finest comedians having no money can buy….

Doors at 7.30pm for an 8pm start because let’s face it, only crazy people take their seat once a comedian takes the stage.

Entry: FREE!!!

QM Union have 15 Pairs, yes 15 Pairs of weekend camping tickets to be given away on Saturday 10th May.

All you have to do is come along between 10pm & 3am, buy a pint of Tennents and hop into the Grab-a-grand machine, hoping you can get lucky!

The best dressed “festival-goer” will win the ULTIMATE FESTIVAL SURVIVAL KIT including a tent, sleeping bags, a camping cooker, wellies, toilet roll, a case of tennents & everything else you might need!

DJs will be there, entertaining you with music from all the bands who’ll be gracing the festival stages.

YOU HAVE TO BE THERE TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING!

Entry is £2 for members, £3 for non-members. Please bring photo I.D.

Welcome to the brand spanking new QMU Website. Please add us to your bookmarks so you can keep up to date with the latest QMU news, photos, gigs and special events. Special thanks to Peter Johnston for lending his programming skills to help get the new site off the ground.

Please be patient while we iron out any creases. If you notice any problems please get in touch by email to: j.hylands@qmu.org.uk

Assassin: Captain Picard
Target: Paul McInally (wanted)
Method: Spoon

Captains log
Stardate 7-3-08

Waiting across from my targets work, hiding behind a bin, I knew he would be finished at 10pm. The time was 9.45. He was heading up to our local pub and I followed him very closely with my spoon. Then I jumped on him from behind and put the spoon in his neck. Once he had been assassinated I got a taxi to the QMU and enjoyed cheesy pop.

Do you want to know a Secret?

On Tues 11th March, the boys are back in town with the greatest gig in the sky. The creatures in the night really get us while our guitar gently weeps.

Woe to you o’ earth and sea… out of the shadows, brighter than a thousand suns, a brave new world is nobodies fault but ours. For the devil sends the beast with children of the grave to Paradise City.

Rock and Roll ain’t noise pollution, it’s creeping death breaking on through to the other side.

Call us sad lovers smokin’ on the water if you will. We’re stone cold crazy and out for blood and dead babies. Layla - welcome to our nightmare!

Rev? Hallowed be thy name.

Entry price £2 members/£3 non-members.

Target: Scott Forsyth A.K.A. Psythe
Assassin: Caboose
Method: Spoons

Wednesday evening, 1855 hours.
I receive a tip off that there are elections at the QMU the next day from a now deceased ally(may he rest in peace). Knowing that my target works on the board I thought it would be a prime opportunity to hunt him down and take him out once and for all.

The next day, after my final lecture I headed to the toilets to cleverly disguise myself as a potential voter.
Next stop, the QMU.

Spotting my target in the distance campaigning, I prepared the assassination weapon. I spoke to certain campaigners, all of whom confirmed his identity (thanks guys, repayed you all with a well earned vote)

I then approached my target, who started to talk to me about the elections. I kept him talking for a good fifteen minutes, keeping my cool so as not to blow my cover.

When he finally finished talking, I asked him one last question. “Do you mind if i assassinate you?” then I plunged the spoon into his heart, watching the pain of the death (and the public humiliation) spread across his face, enjoying every last second of it.

——————————-

Assassin: Captain Picard
Target: Paul McKindlay (wanted)
Method: Spoon

Captain’s Log -
Stardate: 29-2-08

Paul was in my QMU assassins crew along with another gentleman. When I noticed him on the wanted list I really had to perform my duty and assassinate him, some of the crew had tipped him off that I was going to betray him and kill him myself so he started to avoid me.

On Friday he couldn’t, we were both at the same party, I sat next to him and set my spoon to kill, held it in my hand and smiled at him before killing him with it.

Picard, out.

Target: Marc Macleod aka Frankie
Assassin: Red XIII
Method: Spooning

After spotting Marc in the queue for the cash machines in Qudos, I knew it was only a matter of biding my time. So I did what any sensible assassin would do in this situation…bought a panini.

Upon receiving my panini, I cautiously slid one of the spoons I keep about my person up my sleeve and waited for Marc to walk past. Calling his name, causing him to turn around, I spooned him in the chest.

Red XIII

——————–

Target: Alison M D Wilson AKA Steve the Pirate
Status: Deceased
Method: Spoon
Assassin: Frankie

After a visit to the referees office to get a target, I noticed my priority target, unaware that the target I was getting was not my main one, and that her time was short.

After confirming that, due to her lack of black ‘QMU Board Member’ t-shirt, she was a fair target (except in the presence of a referee) I waited for her to leave. As she exited the room I took my chance. Following her down the corridor she noticed me, with my hand somewhat conspicuously in my jacket, holding my concealed spoon.

She was accosted by a bystander, obviously aware the person who had walked behind her in the corridor was a suspicious figure. Using this millisecond delay to my advantage I lunged forward as she moved to go through a door, and stabbed her in the abdomen with a spoon.

—————-

Target: Rebecca Douglas
Assassin: Drizzt
Method: Spooning

Having let my guard down to enjoy some comedy at Lacuna I went down to Jim’s bar for a drink. On the way down I spotted a so-called-friend and stopped to say “hi” not knowing that only minutes later he would betray me to my assassin, leading to me getting very enthusiastically disemboweled with a plastic spoon. Let my death be a warning to others; trust no one.

Rebecca

———————

Target: Tom Quinn AKA The unicyclist
Status: Eliminated
Assassin: ScoreKeeper
Method: Death by spoon
Death occurred in QMU Jims Bar on 27th.

Noticed him in the building, ran up to food court got a spoon and assassinated him in the bar.

———————

Target: Alasdair Murry AKA sheppard
Status: Eliminated
Assassin: ScoreKeeper
Method: Death by Marker
Death occurred in Maths Building,room 515 on 28th.

Waited till he left, went to talk to him. Asked if he knew a random person. He said who, I said,”you do electronics, right?”. Nodded, and assassinated him.

——————-

Target: ScoreKeeper
Status: Failed Twice
Assassin: Real Name “Duncan Iain Usher”
Method: Attempt by Jenga on 27th
Method: Attempt by spoon on 28th

Challenge occured in Jims Bar on 27th. Came to bar, was told to run by my mates, ran for life to hide. While my mate got tackled by guards for suspicious activity, while I flew away. Made a deal, duel in Jenga. I ScoreKeeper won 2 out of 3, while semi-sober. Deal was if I won, he would be on the wanted list. If he won, he got my life. He lost, so is now on the wanted list.

2nd Failed Attempt was at boyd orr building on 28th. He tried to get me with spoon. I stopped him, tried to take it off him and assassinate him as he is on the wanted list. I then ran, screeming “Move, he has a spoon” throught the building and ran to the subway(safe zone). Waited till he left and borrowed a marker from Starbucks, followed him and assassinated him.

ScoreKeeper

——————

Target: mrpink
Status: Eliminated
Method: Spoon
Assassin: Chooch

After chasing men who were blonde, I finally realised that mrpink was in fact a red head. I had thought he had been skiving off his lectures, but I had probably seen him a hundred times at least! When I went to vote at the QMU elections, I noticed that he was one of the candidates so I thought he must be outside campaigning. I had a brief look around but I couldn’t see him so I asked the Chief of Police if he knew where John Hodgeson was. Unfortunately, another campaigner overheard us and must have guessed I was out to assassinate him and warned mrpink who was standing right behind us and he ran away. I legged it before he could have a good look at my face and I went home for lunch.

I came back at about 4 and spotted him wearing a bright red tshirt outside the QM so I walked past him with a spoon hidden in my sleeve before I turned round and asked ‘John?’ He turned round as confirmation and got a spoon in his belly.